It’s been a while.

There’s been a lot that has happened. A lot stored in my head. In my heart. In my body. A lot to process. A small amount that has been processed.

And a hell of an amount in the [in-between].

I’m trying to stay in the [in-between] if I’m being honest. It’s a bit easier. I have so much so say to a few different people, but I can’t get it out coherently and not at a sensible volume or tone. So this is the next best thing – my [in-between].

To put it plainly, I’m stuck in a cycle of sadness and anger – which is new for me. For such a long time, I’ve usually prided myself in being such a happy-go-lucky, go with the flow, it is what it is type of gal. But the last few months, I have been SO angry and depressed… and I don’t know what to do with myself half of the time.

At least I know where my anger and sadness is directed at. Would be freaking hell if I couldn’t pin point what or who exactly my emotions are geared to. The most disappointing thing is that I don’t know what to do with these new emotions. And I know many say, “You don’t have to do anything at all” or “Just feel it”, but as someone who is prone to be a problem solver I truly don’t know how to move from this [in-between] moment.

And it’s not because of a lack of trying or anything I just feel so stuck, and at times, very alone. This journey has been quite eye-opening, a tough pill to swallow, and oddly cathartic. I picture myself in a glass enclosure that is watching herself both inside the enclosure as well as outside the enclosure trying to make sense of it all while also wanting to just curl up in a ball, close my eyes, and hide away from everything and everyone.

I’m [in-between] cracking like a glass mirror or exploding like a bomb and annihilating everything in my path.

A break through is coming, I can feel it.

In the meantime, I’ll be here.

[In-between].